On showing up, even when you're not "your best"..
Hello friend!
It’s been almost two months since my last post; life has been kicking my ass and every time I have opened my substack, I haven’t known where to start. I guess part of me, the overthinking part, the part who has imposter syndrome thinks to myself “who wants to hear my woes?.. people want to be inspired in their inboxes!” and so I click X on the tab and leave it all unsaid. As I sit and type this, I can’t help at smile at my own absurdity; because I know, that you know that life is hard sometimes, and I also know that I have always been committed to sharing the hard stuff, because I often struggle so hard with all the contrived positivity on social media channels. So here I am!
Side Note: I retired “The Village Newsletter”, while I believe in the premise, I’m a piscean and I need a little less framework to truly thrive. That being said, I am going to try and write more but with more fluidity!
So these last 6-8 weeks have been really tough for me. You may remember me talking about tapering off my SSRIs.. yeh, no.. we are not doing that. After a decline in my mental health and the emergence of high anxiety and a couple of panic attacks.. I am back up to my original dose. I refuse to suffer more than I need to and life is challenging right now; continued pressure at home, a cost of living crisis, end of year blues and f**king winter.. who was I kidding?! Maybe we will try again in spring, when can get all my serotonin from the flowers!
Talking of end of year blues, we are coming to that time of the year when we cannot help but reflect on the past 12 months; all we have done (and haven’t done) and all the “highlights”.. Listen, for some of us, this is really hard and I want to remind you that your highlights and achievements don’t necessarily need to be huge and typical milestones. That maybe, just getting to December 2024 and still having a slither of life, joy, love and peace in your heart is enough. Maybe, like me, your dental hygienist moved you from a 3 month to 6 months visit cadence. Maybe you learnt to say No”. Maybe you remembered how good it feels to dance with your whole body, and not just your feet. Maybe the year was just a bit shit, and you had to put all your energy into putting one foot in front of another.
Whatever 2024 was for you, I guarantee you did better than you give yourself credit for and look at you, out here, in this incredible breathing body, doing the best you can. Celebrate that!
Big Love,
Mxo
COMING UP:
Sunday 8th, 11:45am at Soho (Sunday Sanctuary.. my signature class)
This is my baby. High energy, with a big emphasis on grounding the mind, body and soul. A big inhale/ exhale and reset.Thursday 12th, 7am at Notting Hill (Bookable from Monday at Noon)
My early morning classes on Tuesday and Thursday are always a fiery start to the day, before the world has any influence. Tip yourself out of bed, don’t look at your phone, and come & connect to yourself before anybody/ thing else. Likely to have some rave-y, deep beats to move to!Thursday 12th, 10am at Soho (Theme: Jay-Z vs Stormzy)
Friday 13th, 9:30am at Notting Hill (Theme: Cleo Sol vs Little Simz vs Stormzy)
Friday 13th, 6:30pm at Notting Hill (Theme: Hip Hop Fri-Yay)
