On deep joy..
Happy Saturday friend..
I hope as we draw toward the end of the first “official” week of the year (we aren’t counting the suspended space between the 1st and the 5th), that you are well and in a good place.
This week was a busy one for me; the first week back to my full teaching schedule, the official start of my Yoga Teacher Training learning and my darling daughter turned 19!
On Tuesday, her birthday, I taught in the morning. River is currently pretty nocturnal, so I was spared the usual mum-guilt of not being present in the morning; although she was in my bedroom yapping at 5am, while I got ready to leave for work. She was born at 7:46am, in a hospital in Whitechapel. 5 weeks early, despite having a healthy (albeit emotionally stressful) pregnancy. I was kind of tickled by the parallel of my last 46 minutes of labour 19 years ago, lining up with teaching class. I promised I wasn’t going to give my riders a child birth experience! 😂
I don’t usually get very sentimental about birthdays. Don’t get me wrong, I love birthdays and I love to make birthdays special for people, but this one was an emotional one. I travelled home, picked up my car and on the drive to the supermarket I was struck down with the most intense emotion. My mind whirring through the past 19 years. Tears of joy falling down my face, deep gratitude for the very fact that we are able to celebrate her 19th birthday, despite very real and scary stuff over the last few years. Gratitude for my mum, who arrived at the hospital, after getting the first flight from Glasgow upon hearing of my labour starting at 11pm the night before.. who held her granddaughter for the first time and who has not for a second left our side through this journey.
River’s birthday was one of the best birthdays she has had in years; she was bopping around the kitchen as she made her breakfast, she was surrounded by love and it all just felt really normal, in the best way.
I was reflecting on joy; its relation to sorrow and how experiencing great challenges makes joy feel so much more profound and impactful.
There is a Buddhist teaching that says “When you open your heart, you get life's ten thousand sorrows, and ten thousand joys” and it teaches us to be open and grateful for both. That sorrows are a natural and normal part of being human, and are there to teach us. That sorrow and joy come hand in hand, and that joy is so much sweeter as a result. While I would give my right hand to have not been through some of the challenges we have seen as a family, and I would sacrifice anything to have taken away my daughters pain and suffering, there are silver linings to these experiences. The strength of our relationship, the emotional intelligence we have gained, our capacity for compassion and empathy have all grown out of the dark, sticky tar that is mental illness. For that, I am eternally grateful.
Beginners Mind
Shoshin, another Buddhist concept, refers to a paradox: the more you know about a subject, the more likely you are to close your mind to further learning.
This week I started my YTT study, and I by no means think I really know anything about yoga, I mean maybe a little but compared to what I don’t know, it is miniscule. With the fresh faces joining me in class, I have been contemplating beginners mind and how much we can gain from it. That when we come into class, if we were to approach it with the freshness of someone who has never done it before we could elevate our experience ten fold. The attention the movement of our body, the concentration of our mind and the openness of our heart/ soul/ spirit allows us to be so much more present and able feel so much more acutely.
I have homework for you, whether you ride with me or you practice movement in other ways..
Question your set up. If your movement practice is a bike, I want to you listen to the guidance on bike set up and challenge it. When I first started riding at SC, my saddle height was a 3 and my handles were a 2.. they are now a 5 and 0 and my ride feels 10x stronger.
Listen to the form cues and check yourself. Listen I get it, you have done this 1000x before, of course your form and technique is perfect… 👀.. but what if it could be perfect-er?!
Play in your edge. I talk a lot about holding boundaries and stretching boundaries in class. Imagine you have this circle of protection around you. What we want to do it gently and consistently, stretch that circle out to give you more freedom within it. When in class, start to think about the choices you make, be it with your resistance turns or the weights you pick up, or the point in which you turn down, or sit down. We don’t want to force that circle of protection to the point it breaks. It is almost like stretching play dough, its pliable but if you yank it apart it will tear.
Abyhyasa and Vairagya. Work hard and, Let it go. These are integral yoga concepts which I think are a beautiful way to approach life. Abhyasa is the continuous, unwavering dedication to practice. It is the thing that is responsible for your growth and evolution as a human being. Vairagya is surrender and detachment from the outcome and the thing that allows you to stay present. The idea is to show up each and every day and be your absolute best, despite the outcome. I think it is beautiful. Try it!
WATCH
Don’t judge me. I am currently completely and utterly obsessed with Empire. It is trashy, hammy and absolutely insane and I fucking love it.
READ
I just finished reading Lot buy Bryan Washington. A collection of interlinked stories of a young man finding his place among family and community in Houston. I loved most of the stories in this book, one or two went slightly over my head but I really did enjoy this book, finishing it in about a week.
LISTEN
As you can imagine, I listen to a lot of music, so often I like to listen to podcasts as a contrast on my time off. I am currently working through Jack Kornfield’s Heart Wisdom which is a collection of recordings from talks he has done over the years. I love his wisdom, humour and the way he weaves Buddhist teachings with relation to modern life. Well worth a listen on your commute or a quiet afternoon.
PRACTICE
Sun 12th, 11:45am/ Soulcycle Soho/ Sunday Sanctuary
This is my baby. High energy, with a big emphasis on grounding the mind, body and soul. A big inhale/ exhale and reset.
Mon 13th, 9:30am/ Soulcycle Notting Hill
Tues 14th, 7am/ Soulcycle Notting Hill
Tues 14th, 10am/ Soulcycle Soho
Thurs 16th, 7am/ Soulcycle Notting Hill
Thurs 16th, 10am/ Soulcycle Soho
Fri 17th, 9:30am & 6:30pm, Soulcycle Notting Hill
Thank you for being here, have a wonderful week!
Big Love,
Melissa xoxo
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